Narcissists are individuals who view themselves as superior to others. They often exploit or manipulate people around them to fulfill their own whims. Pervasive narcissistic behavior can cause significant disruption, which affects relationships, work situations and social interactions. It can also make a divorce proceeding very difficult for the other spouse. Learning how to recognize narcissistic traits is the first step to dealing with them effectively so that your divorce is not thrown off track.

A narcissist typically views a divorce not as a legal proceeding but as a battle they need to win at all costs. This can drag out litigation, inflate legal costs and heighten emotional strain. Narcissists may attempt to hide assets, fabricate evidence or outright refuse court orders. They are generally lacking in empathy, making them indifferent to the emotional and financial toll their actions may take on their spouse and children.

Here are some common signs of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD):

• Manipulation of the truth — Narcissists may twist facts, deny their behavior or try to make another person doubt his or her perception of reality. In a divorce case, this could manifest as distorting financial records or denying past actions or agreements.

• Control and intimidation — Narcissists feel threatened by losing control, especially in a legal case. They may attempt to control every aspect of the divorce, including the division of assets or custody arrangements, often to punish the other party.

• Emotional abuse — Narcissists thrive on emotional dominance and may use verbal aggression, guilt or belittling to wear down their spouse during the proceedings.

• Vindictive and uncooperative behavior — Narcissists may prolong the legal process unnecessarily, refusing to negotiate in good faith. They may use such tactics as filing frivolous motions or making false allegations and specious arguments.

• Weaponizing children — Narcissists sometimes play children as pawns during a divorce by trying to alienate them from the other parent or by using them as leverage to gain concessions.

There are strategic steps you can take to deal effectively with a narcissist in divorce proceedings. Here are positive actions you can take:

1. Hire a skilled attorney — A lawyer experienced in high-conflict divorces can anticipate the narcissist's tactics and work diligently and calmly to diffuse them. An attorney can ensure that all legal filings and communications remain professional and fact-based.

2. Document everything — Keep detailed records of interactions, financial transactions, and parenting arrangements and transactions. Evidence is crucial when countering false claims or exposing inconsistencies in the narcissist's statements.

3. Set boundaries — Avoid engaging in arguments or emotional exchanges with the narcissist. Communicate only through your lawyer or a neutral third party when possible to prevent unnecessary conflict.

4. Avoid emotional responses — Narcissists thrive on provoking others. You should avoid being drawn into their attempts to manipulate. Stay calm and focus on the legal and practical aspects of the divorce.

5. Prioritize your well-being — Divorce from a narcissist is taxing on your nerves. Take time to focus on self-care and seek support from a therapist or counselor to manage the toll.

Divorcing a narcissist is arduous, but with proper preparation and a sound legal strategy, it is possible to navigate the process effectively. A competent attorney can be a vital ally in overcoming these obstacles and ensuring a fair outcome in your divorce.

Clark & Schloss Family Law, P.C. in Scottsdale has deep experience representing Arizona spouses in all aspects of divorce. Call us at 602-789-3497 or contact us online to arrange a consultation.